I remember the first time I met Mary Alice. She was playing in the sandbox and had the only bucket. I needed it so I pushed her down.
My daddy always told me I could have anything I wanted.
We have been like peas and carrots ever since. We even married our high school sweethearts, who were also best friends.
Oh, we have all known each other for so very long now.
So very long.
To liven things up, sometimes we throw dinner parties. We send the little ankle biters off to bed and Mary Alice brings her marvelous rum cake, though I swear it barely tastes like it has any rum at all. It makes me wonder if she is a lush, but you didn’t hear that from me.
I whip up something special, usually a tender brisket or some such thing. Mr Howell is always so good to me. I’ll clue you in about Mrs. Howell some other time, but I think she is as frigid as a starfish.
I love a game of limbo.
Mary Alice holds one end of the stick, and so does my Joe. Neither one will limbo, Joe because of his bad back. I am not sure why Mary Alice won’t, but I think it might have something to do with her being a prude.
Bob and I get such a kick from it.
“Marlene be limbo, Marlene be quick
Marlene go unda limbo stick”
Hmm, I just go ape for limbo sticks!
Despite the fact that Mary Alice is occasionally a wet rag, I love her dearly. She is always there to lend a hand, or an ear. Anytime I need a mans help around the house, she sends Bob right on over.
Joe just can’t reach my nooks and crannies anymore.