Marlene talks about Mary Alice

MarlenedomesticdivaEvery girl needs a best girlfriend.

I remember the first time I met Mary Alice. She was playing in the sandbox and had the only bucket. I needed it so I pushed her down.

My daddy always told me I could have anything I wanted.

We have been like peas and carrots ever since. We even married our high school sweethearts, who were also best friends.

Oh, we have all known each other for so very long now.

So very long.

To liven things up, sometimes we throw dinner parties. We send the little ankle biters off to bed andΒ Mary Alice brings her marvelous rum cake, though I swear it barely tastes like it has any rum at all. It makes me wonder if she is a lush, but you didn’t hear that from me.

I whip up something special, usually a tender brisket or some such thing. Mr Howell is always so good to me. I’ll clue you in about Mrs. Howell some other time, but I think she is as frigid as a starfish.

I love a game of limbo.


Mary Alice holds one end of the stick, and so does my Joe. Neither one will limbo, Joe because of his bad back. I am not sure why Mary Alice won’t, but I think it might have something to do with her being a prude.

Party poopers.

Bob and I get such a kick from it.

“Marlene be limbo, Marlene be quick
Marlene go unda limbo stick”

Hmm, I just go ape for limbo sticks!

Despite the fact that Mary Alice is occasionally a wet rag, I love her dearly. She is always there to lend a hand, or an ear. Anytime I need a mans help around the house, she sends Bob right on over.

Joe just can’t reach my nooks and crannies anymore.


About Merbear74

Writing for me is a sort of self therapy and something that I have loved to do since I was young. I write about many things such as fibromylagia, chronic pain and depression. Sometimes, I also make an attempt at being funny.
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51 Responses to Marlene talks about Mary Alice

  1. merbear74 says:

    Reblogged this on Knocked over by a feather and commented:

    Ah friendship. Marlene discusses her bestie Mary Alice among other things…

  2. Reblogged this on aliceatwonderland and commented:

    Marlene is dissing Mary Alice today. Check out what that harlot has to say and get back to me.

  3. Bob certainly hasn’t been paying much attention to my nooks and crannies lately. No wonder! You never did give me my bucket back.

  4. Twindaddy says:

    Man, you two share EVERYTHING!

  5. Mental Mama says:

    Perverts, the whole damn lot of you…

  6. That must be true friendship. I’m glad Bob is always there :o)

  7. No wonder Bob’s always got that big fake grin on his face….

  8. Marlene, it is always inspiring, reading your posts. Your advice to housewives is always so very helpful! In fact, I’m looking now for some neighborly man to come screw in my lightbulbs and investigate my nooks and crannies to clean out the spiderwebs I know have been collecting since my dear Skip *passed away*.

  9. REDdog says:

    I just read that whole comment section and what came to mind was this unfolding scene of the whole lot of you sitting outside a cafe doing rum cake over coffee and conversation and then I interrupt your flow because as I’ve been eaves dropping from the next table and quietly chortling away to myself it all became too much to keep in as I laughed so fucking hard I fell off my chair…hooo, still snickering away now, sheesh! Funny buggers…

  10. HaHa! I needed a laugh this morning! πŸ™‚

  11. 1jaded1 says:

    This was hilarious. Does Bob do windows?

  12. draliman says:

    I’m looking forward to learning more about Mrs Howell – I’m trying to recall, isn’t her husband the butcher with the juicy sausage? πŸ™‚

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