A girl should always follow her dreams.
I will share a secret with you. The summer after I graduated from high school, I ran away from home. I had saved my babysitting money from watching those dreadful little Johnson children, watching every penny.
Lets face it. I had the look and still have a great can.
I wanted to be a movie star, like Joan Crawford. So I bought a ticket to Hollywood and got a job at a very nice establishment.
I met an older woman who showed me the ropes.
I wonder whatever happened to poor Lola. She was the best damn showgirl I ever knew.
Anyways, she told me I needed to pick a stage name. I hadn’t thought of this before. I loved my name, it always suited me perfectly. Eventually, I asked dear Lola to choose one for me.
What’s that Mary Alice? No, the popovers are not finished yet.
I could never tell her what I really did while I was out of town. She thought I went to visit my ailing grandmother. Such a delicate soul. Never switch her coffee.
Soon enough I learned the ways of a dancer, dancer for money.
My plan was simple. I would dance my way into the heart of a rich man who would then parade me about town like a piece of hot arm candy. I would get noticed due to my abnormally beautiful self by the right person at the right time.
I would wear diamonds and pearls and be a starlet of the silver screen.
Everything was going just fine until daddy showed up.
I tried to run, but my high heel got caught in a crack and I landed ass over teakettle onto some drunkards lap. Then he vomited into my cleavage.
Daddy took me back home, where Joe welcomed me back with open arms.
Shut up, Joe.
So ladies, here is my advice. If there is something you want to do, do it. Never be afraid to follow that crazy dream you have.
And never try to run in high fucking heels.