Sex sells

When it comes to advertising, there is one thing that hasn’t changed very much, and that is using boobs and ass to sell products. (I know you were expecting to see the word tit, but I loathe it.)

Oh, okay. Tit.

You’ll poke your eyes out!

 Gun toting in my underwear is now on my bucket list. Better be careful, though. I might end up impaling someone upon my sharp, cone-shaped bra.

Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door…please, call 911!

After smoking those non-filtered Camel’s, not fucking likely, Bimbette.

You can’t handle these puppies!


Nothing like using a ladies rack to sell a pack of smokes. And that sweater is hideous. I bet it’s itchy.

I wonder if that angel knows who gave her the clap.

Tommyrot? Is that even a word? I am adding that to my arsenal of exclamations.

I know I snagged my hubby by powdering myself everyday. A man loves cool, sweet skin.

And afterwards, a nice cold beer.

This red lipstick really brings out my face.

I’m not exactly sure if this is a true retro ad or not, but holy hell, is that woman fugly.

I must ask, does this ad make any of you fellas hot and thirsty for a Coors?

Can’t wait to bring this doll home to mother.

For fun, gaiety, humor and humping.

You even get to pick the hair color of your lady fair. Who needs a real woman, anyways? I mean, check out that waistline and those hips! I could diet for 10 years and never look like that.

If he gets too rough with her, will she break in half?

No bother, I suppose. Two for the price of one.

So, we have learned that people have always been perverts. I find it ironic that some people are so offended by Lady Gaga and Calvin Klein commercials. This shit has been going on since the dawn of time, peeps.

Come back next week to check out a classic, the Tootsie Roll song, per request.


About Merbear74

Writing for me is a sort of self therapy and something that I have loved to do since I was young. I write about many things such as fibromylagia, chronic pain and depression. Sometimes, I also make an attempt at being funny.
This entry was posted in humor, parody, retro, satire, sex, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to Sex sells

  1. Twindaddy says:


  2. Haha, poked my eye out on her boobs! “I like being single” “Of course you don’t, bitch, you’re nothing without a man! You can’t even find clothes!”

  3. NotAPunkRocker says:

    The Coors ad looks like Debi Mazar. Somewhat.

    Forget the boobs, I want the 12-inch waist. Off to find a corset now…

  4. Mental Mama says:

    I wonder if I could put one of those party dolls in my chair at work and then leave. Forever.

  5. My dad is happy now and I’m afraid he will replace my mom. As soon as he has the $ 31.95, my mom is history :o)

  6. JackieP says:

    That doll is worse than a Barbie! Wow, really? Can those bullet bras be termed lethal weapons? hahaha!

  7. The Cutter says:

    You can just picture Don Draper and company sitting around patting themselves on the back for some of these. “Hey, do you think we should have found a model with larger breasts? I don’t know if we got our point across enough.”

  8. markbialczak says:

    Talk about fugly, Mer. The face on that blow-up doll is beyond hideous. I mean, the needle from manual basketball pump refused to go into the nozzle of that thing because the face is so scary.

  9. Morguie says:

    What!? 29.99 and no frickin’ shoes? WTF? Lmao!

  10. findingmyinnercourage says:

    Sex definitely sells here in Nevada!

  11. 1jaded1 says:

    Tommyrot…oh, poor Tommy…*snickers*

  12. I can’t believe women actually walked around in pointy bras. HaHa!! No one does pointy bras like Maddona and she was working for her own sweet self!! the objectification of women is alive and well.

  13. draliman says:

    Wow, I didn’t know they sold inflatable “party” dolls way back in the 60s! And according to the blurb she makes a great gift. I’ll have to bear her in mind for next year’s Secret Santa.
    Is it creepy that I’ve started to refer to her as “her”?

  14. C.K. Hope says:

    Tommyrot? Dahell? It sounds like an STD.

    • I think Pamela Anderson caught Tommyrot once. And she would be a weapon of mass destruction in that razor sharp brassiere….

      The Coors woman shows what happens when you hire a color blind dipshit to Photoshop your ads… they couldn’t have made her look any worse with the totally random removing and brightening of color…

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