Broomsticks and ketchup: More sexist ads

Well, here we are again, with another round of sexist ads, brought to my attention courtesy of my dear friend Mental Mama, who also has a sick, twisted mind.

These ads rarely surprise me anymore.

This is an ad for slacks, not a gang-bang clip. (Sorry to disappoint.)

Ring around Rosie, or Carol. Even Eleanor. I guess it was okay to treat woman like dirty playthings back then. The use of subtle sexual innuendo seems to be the norm.

Which broomstick will she pick, I wonder? I’m voting for the guy in the back, he seems to be having a jolly time.

Her mood ring must be faulty, it’s on sex kitten mode.

The day I lay on the floor staring at my mans dress shoe is also the day I start wearing a babushka and answer to the name of Maw.

Which means never.

“Here, darling. I made some fresh squeezed orange juice for you! That bitter taste is my tears.”

Or arsenic, perhaps.

This one has me a smidge puzzled. There are many times I can’t open my bottle of Xanax, then ask my husband to try. (Oh, I do so enjoy when he struggles.)

I can assure you that my mouth never made a Cheerio hole smile like Rhoda up there. (I do have the deer caught in the headlights look down pat.)

I’m really excited right now, because during my travels on the retro circuit, I found the crowning jewel of my collection.

I know, I’m whigged out, too.

Yes, you are seeing correctly. That girl is getting ready to perform fellatio on that 7 inch burger. (Hold the pickle. Light mayo.)

I suspect someone will be way too full to finish off those fries.

So again, thank youΒ Mental MamaΒ for sharing these fucked up ads with me.

Stay tuned for next week, for something, I haven’t the foggiest idea what.


About Merbear74

Writing for me is a sort of self therapy and something that I have loved to do since I was young. I write about many things such as fibromylagia, chronic pain and depression. Sometimes, I also make an attempt at being funny.
This entry was posted in humor, parody, retro, satire, sex, Uncategorized, vintage and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to Broomsticks and ketchup: More sexist ads

  1. “That bitter taste is my tears.” That was wonderful! Thanks for the audible snicker. Sans mouthful of hot coffee. Good timing!

  2. AZ Gringa says:

    That BK one just about killed me.

  3. oh the “good” ole days! Hilarious but so so sad!

  4. hahaha, of course it will blow HER mind away, because I have some doubts if HE has such a thingy :o)

  5. djmatticus says:

    Holy crap! How did that Burger King ad actually make it to press? Shouldn’t some sort of oversight committee have nixed it? I’m speechless… and not because my mouth is full.

  6. Yikes those are nuts!

  7. Just – what? Why is the girl in her underwear surrounded by khaki wearing asshats? Did Best Buy suddenly decide to have a gang bang? I’m just – why – why would a guy want to buy pants then? Because if he does he can get a chick in her undies, but he’ll have to fight the other khaki wearing guys to get her and . . . just . . . wtf?

    And the woman staring longingly at the shoe – I’m thinking it’s because she put a deadly spider in there and now she’s waiting for Darren to come home and ask her to slip on his shoes.

    Wives are for cooking. But that other ad seemed to think they were for tossing around. Which is it?

    Notice how ketchup woman and BK woman both have their mouths open the same way? Like they’re ready to stare in some screwed up fast food porno. I have lost my taste for Burger King. Just – really – why not just have mayo squirting out the side of it just to really bring the point home?

    Next time you’s gots to share these with me first and we can do it together with our hilariousness WT!

  8. Twindaddy says:

    The Super Seven Incher? Oh, man. I totes have a new euphemism for my, um, pet snake.

  9. Mental Mama says:

    You’re totally welcome. πŸ™‚

    But seriously, those are DUDE’S dress shoes?

  10. The Cutter says:

    Does Burger King no longer sell this particular item?

  11. Morguie says:

    I’m shocked that BK didn’t “finish off” the ad with a comment about how every girl is only too happy to swallow THIS…how’s THAT for a sick and twisted mind? >>>did I just say that…holy mouse crap, Batman! Better pop another Quaalude and get back on the floor…gotta finish licking Daddy’s other shoe before he gets home…

  12. mollytopia says:

    Oy vey – these are awesome, to openly mock…Thanks for giving me the laughing-with-furrowed-brow look haha.

  13. Apparently, where a woman belongs is on the floor with a bad wig. As for sexism in ads, I’d like to point out that it’s not just for the gals anymore. Witness any ad done today, wherein the man looks like a complete idiot. Apparently the ad men finally realized that women often do much of the buying in households, so it makes sense to portray their hubbies as complete idiots. I’ve got s ton of examples, just ask…

  14. grannyK says:

    That shoe ad is just strange! WTH? Never in my wildest dreams would I think to stare at a shoe like that. And that first ad, does that poor girl ever eat? Maybe those guys don’t allow it? She must weigh about 20 pounds!

  15. 1jaded1 says:

    LMAO..The BK ad starts with the statement to fill your desire….but why only a single Patty? Extra pickle and mayo…sorry, I had to.

  16. both funny and angry making! Oh the giddy excitement of a man’s shoe! LOL!
    be still my beating heart.

  17. draliman says:

    How on Earth did BK get that one past your advertising standards people?
    You’ve gotta admit, though, that’s one heck of a sexy shoe πŸ™‚

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