Get your chew on….

I’ve always loved a good stick of gum, how about you?

I went way back to the early 1900’s to search for gum ads, and I was quite surprised when I found what seemed like a Wrigley monopoly.

Check out my lamb-chops!

According to this ad, Wrigley’s gum is a godsend to people who suffer from irritable bowel syndrome, dry mouth, and halitosis.

I have 2 out of 3 of these maladies, and will let you guess which ones.

OMG, I can’t believe they got St. Peter to be their spokesperson!

Forgot the milk and cookies, mother, we want a stick of Juicy Fruit!

(The taste is gonna….oh, sorry.)

Everyone throw your toothbrush out, on 3!

Maybe I should just start chewing gum again, I really hate going to the dentist.

I mean, I get the whole digestion thing, but the last time I heard, sugar was bad for your teeth. (They still use real sugar, by the way. No Splenda for Wrigley’s.)

I saved my favorite for last.

What are charming little boy you have there, Bessy. Although, perhaps you mollycoddle him a bit too much.

What a charming little boy you have there, Bessy. Although, perhaps you mollycoddle him a bit too much.

“I must keep my teeth clean and white, mustn’t I”

“I must keep my stomach strong, mustn’t I?”

“I must be hungry at mealtime, mustn’t I?”

“I must have something to keep me quiet, mustn’t I?”

There are so many things wrong with this, I don’t even know where to fucking begin.

(Warning: I’m going to be using the word mustn’t for a while.)

What do we want?

Gum!

When do we want it?

Now!

Does it cost a penny?

Hell no!

*I’m going to be posting more often in the coming weeks, and am planning a contest with an actual real retro prize.*

Advertisements

About Merbear74

Writing for me is a sort of self therapy and something that I have loved to do since I was young. I write about many things such as fibromylagia, chronic pain and depression. Sometimes, I also make an attempt at being funny.
This entry was posted in advertising, childhood, food, humor, parody, retro, Uncategorized, vintage and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to Get your chew on….

  1. I’ll probably be using “mustn’t” for a while, too, now. I’ve missed this blog! It was lost in the jumble of all the blogs I follow. Now I have lots of reading to catch up on here!

  2. Mental Mama says:

    I pretty well never chew gum anymore. When I was a small one I refused to blow my nose and ended up jacking up my ears. Rather than put tubes in, the pediatrician had me chew gum for at least an hour a day. I kind of can’t stand the stuff now.

  3. Morguie says:

    “My ass must be overripe fer a beatin’ mustn’t it?” Bwahahaha! 😛

  4. Ladybuggz says:

    I wanna throw a rock at the TV when I hear that dreaded “Juicy Fruit Ad” all I hear is ” Pull it Out, Give a Lick, Stick it in……..” teenage verse oh so Dirty! lol !!
    The smell of the stuff (Juicy Fruit ) makes me wanna puke!

  5. merbear74 says:

    Reblogged this on Knocked over by a feather and commented:

    If you haven’t already, please check out my retro blog.

  6. JackieP says:

    I never could stand juicy fruit, I thought it was nasty. I can’t chew gum anymore anyway, but I love the ads. haha.

  7. Twindaddy says:

    Sooooooooooo….gum makes a stomach strong, eh? I was not aware of this.

  8. Ha! Such misleading claims aren’t a monopoly of those times. They are still prevalent today, propagated as true facts by all the brand names fueling consumerism. And the last ad is actually a torment.
    Nice one. 🙂

    • merbear74 says:

      You just hit the nail on the head with that one, Ha. If they tell us that a certain product will cure our ills, we will want to believe it. The only things I have ever gotten out of chewing this brand of gum is minty fresh breathe for 10 minutes. 🙂

  9. Trent Lewin says:

    I do work for these wankers… you don’t know the half of it. I’ve seen gum being made. It feels like a hospital, and it’s just as dirty.

  10. Hilarity no less! Poor bugger on add one (mutton chop man) was born before effective cures or treatment for gastrointestinal ulcers and would therefore be a sitting duck for any quackery!

  11. These ads are brilliant. And timely when working on a new advertising campaign at work!

  12. Hey, little boy, I’ve got your gum now let me SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING NOSE. Also, the one that says “fine for digestion. fine for teeth” just makes me want to rush out and buy that shit right away!

  13. Oh yeah, love the new look!

  14. No, son, we are fresh out of gum because our green grocer did not have a box for sale. Go find one of your father’s unfiltered cigarettes if you must have something in your mouth! Oh, and before you run off, help your mother loosen this girdle before it squeezes my lungs out of my mouth!

  15. fosaken666 says:

    love Wrigley’s Spearmint gum!!! Love the upgrades to your WT page!!! 😉

  16. I was always petrified of swallowing gum so never got into chewing it. Plus they’ve done research into how over-production of saliva can cause digestive problems – this is to try to put people off letting their kids have dummies/pacifiers/sucky things all day when they’re tiny, but I’m guessing it follows with gum too.

  17. draliman says:

    I wish advertisers were still allowed to make outrageously false or completely unproven claims these days. What fun that would be!

  18. I think these ads are all true. For 3 minutes and 17 1/2 seconds, they do all that and more….lol. You must´nt forget to keep your juicy fruit gum handy.

    And is it just a coincidence that when I attempted to type must´nt, autocorrect changed it to mutant??????????

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s