I’ve always loved a good stick of gum, how about you?
I went way back to the early 1900’s to search for gum ads, and I was quite surprised when I found what seemed like a Wrigley monopoly.
According to this ad, Wrigley’s gum is a godsend to people who suffer from irritable bowel syndrome, dry mouth, and halitosis.
I have 2 out of 3 of these maladies, and will let you guess which ones.
OMG, I can’t believe they got St. Peter to be their spokesperson!
Forgot the milk and cookies, mother, we want a stick of Juicy Fruit!
(The taste is gonna….oh, sorry.)
Maybe I should just start chewing gum again, I really hate going to the dentist.
I mean, I get the whole digestion thing, but the last time I heard, sugar was bad for your teeth. (They still use real sugar, by the way. No Splenda for Wrigley’s.)
I saved my favorite for last.
“I must keep my teeth clean and white, mustn’t I”
“I must keep my stomach strong, mustn’t I?”
“I must be hungry at mealtime, mustn’t I?”
“I must have something to keep me quiet, mustn’t I?”
There are so many things wrong with this, I don’t even know where to fucking begin.
(Warning: I’m going to be using the word mustn’t for a while.)
What do we want?
When do we want it?
Does it cost a penny?
*I’m going to be posting more often in the coming weeks, and am planning a contest with an actual real retro prize.*