Swimming Sweater


Alice: Sweater swimming? Thank you, I had gotten lost in a comment thread and lost hope in humanity. Thank God for sweater man.

Mer: Wtf? So bizarre.

Alice: I know. Like – is he really swimming in that?

Mer: He’s getting ready to jump in dramatically.

Alice: Yeah, maybe. I get out of the pool and bing my sweater appears. Shop at Sears.

Mer: JC Penney.

Alice:  Wait – and – isn’t that – a woman’s sweater? Think of it. It’s very slimming.

Mer: It’s formfitting and snug, everything that I look for in a swimming sweater.

Alice: Yes! It looks like he is in mid The Thinker pose. Like -why am I wearing women’s clothes and underwear into the pool? Hmmm.

Mer: He needed the money and was tired of making porn.

Alice: Haha! He is a perfect combination of one of the Bonds on top, and Magnum P.I. on bottom.

Mer: His thighs are so hairy and solid. Damn!

Alice: And his shorts are so short. Hey, and he’s got a necklace. I’m picturing one of those giant gold dollar signs.

Mer: It does somehow tie the look together, though.

Alice: Really creates the look. Oh, there’s his wife nearby. “Hey, stay out of my closet and get out of the pool!”

Mer: Bob, for the last time, it’ll never catch on!

Alice: Bob is certain it will. After all, people will always wear sexy sideburns like that.

Mer: Nuthuggers always make me stop and take a better look.

Alice: There’s that hint of mystery under the sweater.

Mer: Like, how big are his nipples? These sort of things are of the utmost importance to know.

Alice: I think I see one poking out in the sweater. Must be cold in there.
Mer: Ah, that’s why I can’t detect any trace of his willy.
Willy, come out! It’s okay, don’t be shy!
Alice: Must be.
See, it’s cold so he had to put the sweater on! That’s why we can’t see those rockin’ swim trunks.Either that or he’s actually a Ken doll with hair glued on.No extra parts included.
Mer: Just a misleading bulge.
Alice: Yes! Why do that?  Man, I think the sweater is to keep us guessing.I MUST see those trunks. He might be in his daughter’s closet man.

Mer: The 70’s were a weird time, dude.I’m glad I was too young to realize that plaid was lame.
Alice: Me too. So, so weird and tacky.Just love his expression. You know you want to rip this sweater off of me.
Mer:  I do, but not for the reason you think.


About Merbear74

Writing for me is a sort of self therapy and something that I have loved to do since I was young. I write about many things such as fibromylagia, chronic pain and depression. Sometimes, I also make an attempt at being funny.
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19 Responses to Swimming Sweater

  1. Tony Burgess says:

    He’s doing some sort of styling and profiling there. So this is what we did so long ago.

  2. Lol you two made me guffaw on the train, never a good thing but amusing none the less. I thank you šŸ™‚

  3. JackieP says:

    My one thought is…..if you need a sweater to go swimming, it’s too damn cold to go swimming! LOL

  4. List of X says:

    It’s too bad we can’t see his swim boots.

  5. Ladybuggz says:

    A good laugh! and what was the reason Mer??? lol…

  6. yes… I pondered about the reason too :o))

  7. draliman says:

    Taken individually all elements in that photo are fine, but put them all together and it’s just somehow very wrong.

  8. This is why I never went to the pool in all of those cheap motels we stayed at on family vacations. The worst thing you might find there sometimes isn’t a Baby Ruth…

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